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Why am I Feeling a Lack of Social Connection?

Does it feel at the moment, even when we aren't in a hard lockdown, like there is a bit of a lack of social connection? Does it seem like you are just a little bit isolated, even if you live with your family? And if you are single, does it feel like you are stranded on an island with no one around for miles? If so, you aren’t alone.

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change" - Wayne Dyer

Many clients, regardless of their living situations, are reporting a sense of loneliness and isolation. Most will often say “I don’t get it though, I have friends!” or “I have three kids and a husband, I am literally never on my own! How can I be lonely?!”


The thing is, the feeling of loneliness that we get is less about how many people we are with, and more about who we are with. So why did this feeling only just start creeping in during Covid? There are many reasons why at the moment, the feeling of isolation seems just a little more intense than our fondly-remembered, pre-Covid days. First of all, things are really unpredictable at the moment - just ask anyone trying to plan a holiday. You want to plan a family get together with your parents from NSW and your siblings from QLD. Will the border be open? Will we be in lockdown? Who knows? Should we commit to paying for accommodation knowing we might not get it back if there is a lockdown? It starts feeling like a really twisted game of chance. Second – social media. At its very minimum social media paints an illusion that everyone is living their “perfect” life in their “perfect” world. During Covid social media paints the illusion that everyone else is making “perfect” lunchboxes while doing “perfect” home schooling; with their “perfect” social lives and their “perfect” home office arrangements. Meanwhile, the rest of us are left thinking “Wait what? Why am I not doing that? What’s wrong with me?” Logically we know that social media is a total farce, but we still ask the question all the same. Third – face to face social connection has become somewhat of a rare commodity recently. We don’t know when we will have it and we don’t know when we wont. So that means we want it SO. MUCH. MORE. It’s human nature.


The thing is, almost everyone is experiencing a similar feeling to a certain degree. We need to allow ourselves to go through these things so that we can come out the other side.

If you are interested in discussing any of the points further, we would be more than happy to hear from you. Feel free to send an email to admin@youmatterpsychologists.com.au and we will answer any questions you may have.


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