It seems like back in the day, things were so much simpler.
We taped songs directly off the radio; if it wasn’t in Encyclopaedia Britannica or Encarta 95 then it technically didn’t exist; and there were only two types of toothpaste to choose from. Fast forward to the almost-mid 2000’s and it seems like there are options everywhere. Even our options have options. And if you find yourself single nowadays, the relationship sphere can be a complex and scary world, whether you are just discovering it or returning to it from a trip (or two) around the block. At a minimum, it is a far departure from how things “used to be”. So let’s look more closely at the different types of relationships and relationship styles that exist these days. Honestly, the list could be endless but I’ve rounded up some of the newest and/or common. I’m not including monogamy or casual relationships here because well, we all know what they are.
Breadcrumbing: No, it’s not a delicious snack. Well maybe it is, but it will mess with your feelings big time. People who breadcrumb give you just enough to keep you interested, without ever giving you enough to feel secure. People who are the “breadcrumbers” generally want to keep their options open but with the added security of knowing they have a fall-back. How do you know if you are on the receiving end of a breadcrumber? Ask yourself – do I feel secure here? Do I know where I stand? Do I know for sure that we are on the same page here? If not, then it’s possible. And let’s be real – you are so much better than being a fall-back. Sever those ties, baby.
Friends with benefits: The name pretty much tells you exactly what it is. All the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. Maybe you both are super busy; love your own time; but also want good, safe sex. Boom, you have yourself a FWB situation. Provided that all parties are on the same page then this can work quite well if it’s what you’re looking for. Something to watch out for however, is one side catching feelings. Friends with benefits can be great for meeting a need, however it can also mess with your mind if you are the one who catches feelings that are unreciprocated. If you are someone who is prone to falling in love easily, then 10/10 do not recommend this type of relationship. Honesty is the best policy with this one, always.
Talking to: OK so I hate the expression “kids these days”, but honestly. If I had a dollar for every time I heard people younger than me say “I’m talking to these guys…” or “yeah we were talking for a bit but…”. This is seriously just a name for what I would call “sampling the menu”. You do you, queen (or king)
Haunting: Ugh, so we all know what Ghosting is right? They bail without a trace, never to be heard from again. You are understandably annoyed (devastated/heartbroken), because we are all adults here, right? Then all of a sudden, one day when you are out living your best life, BOOM! Old Ghosty McGhost-Face slides into your DM’s (or for everyone else over 30, they message you). Look who realised that the grass really was greener on this side of the fence. Remember: life sure is good on the green side. Stay in your paddock, sweetie.
Orbiting: Just when I think there are no more cool astrological names for dating, here comes another. Orbiting is the new ghosting, because apparently no one has the self-restraint to cut ties completely. Orbiters will fall of the face of the earth…almost. They will stop responding to your messages but keep watching your Instagram stories. They wont respond to "happy birthday!" but will comment heart-eyes on that post of you looking smokin' with someone they don't know. They are lurkers, just like gulper eels and the giant squid. So what should you do if you suspect you are being orbited? Then yeet that deep-sea creature back to whence it came.
Relationships come in so many forms these days, and honestly, if we are genuinely on-board with what ever relationship we are in then there is no harm done. However, sometimes we might feel like we are in situations we aren't sure of, or that don't necessarily make us feel good. If you have questions, please reach out!
If you are interested in discussing any of the points further, we would be more than happy to hear from you. Feel free to send an email to admin@youmatterpsychologists.com.au and we will answer any questions you may have.
