The Inner Critic: Understanding and Soothing the Voice That Tears Us Down

Most adults are familiar with that voice in their head that points out mistakes, doubts abilities, or predicts failure. This “inner critic” can show up in different ways - through harsh self-judgment, persistent worry, or a constant sense of not being good enough. While it can feel discouraging, the inner critic is a normal part of the human mind, often rooted in early experiences, societal pressures, or personal expectations.

The problem isn’t that we have an inner critic, it’s that we sometimes listen to it unchallenged. Left unchecked, this voice can amplify self-doubt, fuel perfectionism, and increase anxiety, making it hard to take risks or celebrate achievements. It can also impact relationships, as persistent self-criticism can lead to withdrawal or hypersensitivity to feedback.

Recognising the inner critic is the first step toward responding differently to it. Instead of trying to push it away, simply noticing when it arises and acknowledging its presence can create space to choose your response. Consider whether the thought is grounded in fact or shaped by fear and old patterns. This awareness allows you to see the criticism as separate from your true sense of self.

Soothing the inner critic involves both mindset and practice. Self-compassion exercises, gentle self-talk, and affirming your strengths can gradually counterbalance harsh judgments. Mindfulness and grounding techniques can also help reduce the intensity of self-critical thoughts, allowing for calmer reflection. Over time, you may begin to recognise that the inner critic’s voice is just one perspective - not the ultimate truth about who you are.

The inner critic may never disappear entirely, but learning to respond rather than react transforms it from a source of discouragement into an opportunity for growth. By acknowledging its presence with curiosity, compassion, and understanding, adults can cultivate resilience, self-confidence, and a kinder internal dialogue.